U know.. I always get fed up with people acting holy in front of me. More precisely im talking about christians. How can some1 goes to church each sunday praise the Lord, have holy moments with the saints in church and yet talk bullsh*ts, plan revenge plot, harm others and do devil's work to the people around him AND STILL ABLE to pray, act holy and saying thank god/god bless you in front of u. This is sick! Such a hypocrite~
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Talk about hypocrite.. Am i qualified to comment on that person?
Thinking back, hey what about me..
I too wearing a mask in the church. Why can't i just admit that i'm a christian after joining christianity this year.I felt more happy and freer when i was a free thinker. i've reached boiling point again as i am not able to fool myself any longer to believe in something that i don't believe in. . Before deciding to leave christianity, i gave myself a chance again.
It's really hard living a life as a hypocrite. People don't see the real u & u have to hide yourself. But 1 year's of endurance is really a worthy period to come until this far. As i've encountered many things in this Aug, Sept & Oct. I really have alot of things to share to bloggie but i just couldn't due to my hectic schedules. The change of faith after the amazing things that happened in my life eversince the prayers that i've made. The security that i've felt when i was alone during holidays in the hostel after few days the night before my housemate saw the existence of super natural entity flew pass her window. The amazing things when i prayed so hard for my dog to be alive when she was dying that time. The extra strength i felt after few days of 2-4 hours sleep. The sudden inspiration that i have when i pray for wisdom. The ability to laugh & smile eventhough i was tired. I just felt so amazed by the power of the prayers made & security. 1 day, 2 months or half year.... would not get me into this far.. It's all about perserverance whilst it took me 1 year's time..
Can i share these out? that i really want to stop being a hypocrite. Can i say that i love u, u & u? coz I can't stop fooling myself that i really felt comfortable being with u guys. U have let me see the value of true friendship & acceptance. U have let me move freely in an environment that doesn't require me to strike for perfectionism which is very tiring. I couldnt' deny that i've learned alot of things through this 1 year period. How interesting & weird @d same time when i first saw u'll still able to be joyful & relax eventhough occurs last minute panicking-moment or have to submit assignment the next early morning eventhough progress still below 50%.
U know wat.. I think i've just found a new purpose in life.. *grin*
Voices of a hypocrite.. i no longer want to be
