#MeToo : Unwanted Attention

"You are just being oversensitive, come on"

These were the comments I received after telling my ladies what happened.

Those times, I did wonder, was it really me being oversensitive, or was it 'him' that making sexual advances.

~ . ~ . ~. ~. ~ . ~ .

It was already a past history :

> when groping took place at a narrow walkway of a shop by a 'customer'
> when 'touched' by the instructor during (being chose to) demo for martial art practice

> when the hand of an old man intentionally trying to reach my thigh when I was jogging in opposition direction on a trail at a park. It was the same man that tried to reach me again when I was walking up a narrow staircase while he was walking down. All these happened when the man whom wearing sun glasses was also holding his wife's hand at the same time. (He's not blind)

> when a man's leg trying to slot in behind me, in a crowded KTM

> when a foreigner making advances by placing his arm behind my head &slowly sitting closer in a quiet LRT coach.

> when I was being stalked all the way walking back home after cocurricular activities, by a freaking admirer from the same school

> when frequent wolf whistling was heard during my rounding at my office building which located next to a construction site.

> when I received sexually suggestive photos &messages (including from a Dato, IT engineer & a cop) after I passed my number for work purposes. (my job deal with authorities &suppliers)

"Why don't we take the lift just now? arggh..now that we have to wait for another lift"

"Come on, go on (the staircase), why do u stop?"

"Why don't you fetch them along, they're just staying nearby, pity them they don't have transport"

"Why you don't want him (new visitor) to join our cell group at your house"

These were the questions to me.

If time could turned back, 1 thing I'd do is to have kept the messages as proof & bring up issues to my lady superior (even though that time colleagues did not believe what I told them what I encountered), back then when there's affection gestures from a married man colleague whom manipulatively hitting on a young subordinate whom he should be looking after. 

~ . ~ . ~. ~. ~ . ~ .

Over time, experiences gained. We learned what is like to be manageable, to discern, to be more alert, to play safe when dealing with people, or when alone out there & to identify who shall be included in our social circle.

I learned to be understanding when someone else hashtag 'MeToo', instead of commenting too much. It's best to just give a listening ear, instead of commenting anything when hearing their stories. Blaming on the female attire is as worse as saying "luckily it did not happened to me or my daughter", as well as saying "who asked you to do that/ go there, see what happened now".

And I know why some ladies

> avoid entering a room behind closed door, when there's only a man inside (eg. office store)

> avoid certain standing positions on the escalator

> preferred walking behind man when going up a staircase (instead of walking infront)

> preferred standing leaning against the wall in a lift if there are men inside

> taking walkie talkie along when rounding building at weak-phone-signal-reception basement
> playing precaution when sound of moving motorbike heard coming from the back along the street

> choose not to give away business cards/ phone number to Anyone easily

> not to simply allow 'friend(s)' to enter her car/ house or drives her back when she doesn't even know him deeply yet

> choose not to follow superior invitation to round the building at dark places alone
> so repulsive towards certain ways/ movements of the gents' approach

> avoid entering crowded public transportation, lift or narrow walkway

So,

This is my story. & You are not alone.

#MeToo, is to show the magnitude of sexual harrassment

>>> next, Read:
sexual harrassment allegations from these celebrities against Harvey Weinstein, on #MeToo campaign
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/oct/11/the-allegations-against-harvey-weinstein-what-we-know-so-far


>>> next, Watch: 
The world's funniest man Harith Iskander was not laughing when his wife Dr Jezamine Lim spoke for the first time about her own experience with bullying.
 click on #standtogether to watch.

I'm Invisible

"Wow, he scored again! That is so cool!" The girl sitting next to me was heard saying.

"He got the moves of Kobe's" exclaimed another person.

Much admiration can be felt in the air especially towards him.


It was another weekday evening after class where the juniors &seniors were gathering at the basketball court to watch the friendly match. And mostly were his admirers, cheering on his name.


The match was finally over, and it started drizzling. Before I walked over to him, he was already surrounded by a group of ladies telling him how great he was.


It was another day like this. I wonder if you had noticed my presence each time you played, each time when u scored, as well as each time when u injured & fell, even in the rain.

I missed the friendship we once had.

...

So close, and yet so far.

I can only watch from a distance. 

i guess, sometimes people just forgot the person who supports them at the back...

Preacher in the Living Room

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

* . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . *

She,
is not just a mother to her children, but a friend, a teacher, A PREACHER.

When her husband is away to work, she would gather her children at the living room & preach Love, preach Integrity, preach Empowerment.

The living room would become a place where leaders are produced.


When her husband is away to work, she would plays the role as a homemaker.

She disciplines her children & watches over the affairs of her household.

Neither she eats the bread of idleness nor she obtained food gained by deceit.

Day and night her hands will be working vigorously, preparing food for her family, &building the home. She clothes herself with strength, strength that comes from the Lord. Even when storm comes, she would be still, for she put her trust in the Lord.



She extends her hands to the needy & would model for her children to do the same.

She inspires & people called her blessed.

She is not just a woman, 

but a woman who fears the Lord.

~
~~
~~~

Are You Willing To Wait For Me?

The word comes through him, & I listened :

"He has already provided for you"

"You are unique. & you will have choices"


* . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * . * .

I met a Boaz.

& we were of 2 different generations.


He has his group of friends, while I have mine with different maturity from his.

He has his strength, and I have mine. We both value different things in life.

He has made progress in his career, his ministry, his understanding in life.

While I, I'm just starting...


He talked things of passion, doing the impossible, & crossing over Niagara falls.

While I, I'm still catching up.

.

Will You...

wait for me, if I take longer time to catch up to your pace ?


Will You...

wait for me, when you had already completed phase 3 while I just about to experience phase 2 season.


Will You...

wait for me, without losing your patience and condemning me if I had failed along the way trying to catch up with you.




I have choices.

The time has not yet come, for he has not called me his. 

I am not Ruth.

Lending Your Hand

After grocery store, I headed to my car & saw a man getting off his motorbike (blocking my car). So I gave a light smile nod to hint him that I'm exiting.

Realizing the man has burnt scars over his face &hand, in his very slow motion trying to get back on his bike &then relocate forward the bike. I felt bad &said sorry.

Starting the engine, I secretly observed him. He was grabbing the cars for support then paused. I off the engine, got out & stretched out my forearm. He looked at me &immediately hold my hand. He was then guided to go up a 1-step staircase then he let go of my hand &with a course voice I heard 'thank you'


*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*


I learned 1 thing, on becoming a better human guide. Whether it's guiding a blind man, elderly, or walking-disordered person, STRETCHING OUT YOUR FOREARM can be a good hand grip support for them.

DON'T grab their hands &take them walk. They may not want to go YOUR direction.

Let them hold on to ur forearm instead. So they may have flexibility in their posturing.

For the blind, I usually ask their permission first. If walking on traffic street, I'd direct their hand to hold to my forearm, &let them know when reached the destination.

They, are bold. They learned how to survive better than us.

symbolic act from Good Friday

I felt something was missing in me when I went to work yesterday, & I've been thinking about a symbolic act I did on Good Friday night.

I tore off the paper where I wrote out the pains, disappointments, fear &past hurts that was haunting me &depressing me. These were the weighs that I felt missing in me. & I thank God for removing those negativity in me.

And just now, I was reminded that 7 times more powerful of those negativity could come back if I'm not careful enough. And what I feed into my mind is important.

Good Friday (3days before Easter), is a day to remember that a Savior has come &gave Himself as an atonement for mankind's sins, that we can come to the presence of God without a priest, without having to sacrifice animal's blood, &access to Him from anywhere.

Jesus came to save the lost, that they may have life in all its fullest! Through the work finished on the cross, we can receive acceptance, healing, victory &restoration through Christ!]


-You don't have to go through alone. There's Someone Higher u can hold on to-