If u r a believer, have u ever hated God so much??
The past few days of mine were a super lousy one alright~
When u r in times of difficulties, everything just turn out unsmooth for you. U shouted for God’s help, u were hoping that somehow these mess would just turn out fine but no.. it turns out even worse..or I shall say, hopeless..
You know, the past few days were kinda negative for me. I even blamed the church for producing a weak-me. Can’t believe I’ve become so emotional easily & worse I even shed tears in my class. How I used to condemn myself so much for any stupid mistakes I made, or the mess that I created… until a level I stand up again the next day growing stronger than before. But now it seems like this method has no longer working, the more I condemn, the more I was hurt. My heart was once made of rock, but now it seems that it has transform into glass, so fragile. I remembered a friend of mine once said “A leader should not cry”. But one thing I know is that, the word of God has transform me into another person, my once hardened heart was unlocked, & it now speaks the truth more, being transparent & sophisticated. Cry doesn’t mean u are a weakling.
There are many times when things doesn’t turn out what u r expected, usually it’s our habit to point our fingers to others, blaming others’ for their fault for the mess. How my past few days been like? Ha... the hatred within me towards myself & God, is a pain alright~ The past 2weeks I thought I’m gonna be ok, but trying to cover things up is just a bad move. U know that soon u’ll just explode.
That night I couldn’t sleep, I sketched out the many aspects of my problems & how grateful I am to see a bigger picture of my current situation, & solve it straight away. I realized it doesn’t involve God, church & people coz the problems lies within myself. I found that I’m lacking of a thankful heart. Talk about counting each blessing, if I treat a particular trouble/problem with a thankful heart, I believe it will become a blessing. Looking back, I thank God for how He has brought me this far.
Meanwhile, I want to thank those who laid hands on me to pray for my health yesterday night. I was kinda surprise that my feverish headache can just disappear after a short 30mins nap. No medicine involved! Usually it takes at least 1 day for me to recover. It was the 1st time I claim healings in Jesus’ Name. You restore my faith towards you again! I appreciate it
The past few days of mine were a super lousy one alright~
When u r in times of difficulties, everything just turn out unsmooth for you. U shouted for God’s help, u were hoping that somehow these mess would just turn out fine but no.. it turns out even worse..or I shall say, hopeless..
You know, the past few days were kinda negative for me. I even blamed the church for producing a weak-me. Can’t believe I’ve become so emotional easily & worse I even shed tears in my class. How I used to condemn myself so much for any stupid mistakes I made, or the mess that I created… until a level I stand up again the next day growing stronger than before. But now it seems like this method has no longer working, the more I condemn, the more I was hurt. My heart was once made of rock, but now it seems that it has transform into glass, so fragile. I remembered a friend of mine once said “A leader should not cry”. But one thing I know is that, the word of God has transform me into another person, my once hardened heart was unlocked, & it now speaks the truth more, being transparent & sophisticated. Cry doesn’t mean u are a weakling.
There are many times when things doesn’t turn out what u r expected, usually it’s our habit to point our fingers to others, blaming others’ for their fault for the mess. How my past few days been like? Ha... the hatred within me towards myself & God, is a pain alright~ The past 2weeks I thought I’m gonna be ok, but trying to cover things up is just a bad move. U know that soon u’ll just explode.
That night I couldn’t sleep, I sketched out the many aspects of my problems & how grateful I am to see a bigger picture of my current situation, & solve it straight away. I realized it doesn’t involve God, church & people coz the problems lies within myself. I found that I’m lacking of a thankful heart. Talk about counting each blessing, if I treat a particular trouble/problem with a thankful heart, I believe it will become a blessing. Looking back, I thank God for how He has brought me this far.
Meanwhile, I want to thank those who laid hands on me to pray for my health yesterday night. I was kinda surprise that my feverish headache can just disappear after a short 30mins nap. No medicine involved! Usually it takes at least 1 day for me to recover. It was the 1st time I claim healings in Jesus’ Name. You restore my faith towards you again! I appreciate it
When u r in trouble times, it is either Hallelujah or Oh Shit~
Pss~ u know wat? Going for the 1st one is way more better.. Good day folks
Hey Lily, i donno what u have been going through, but i'm personally going through a tough time of decision making as well. I have been waiting for God for so long. Praying and fasting. And after all, i just found out that i myself not allow God to talk to me. In times when God is silent, it doesnt mean He is not there. But He want us to be still and know that He is God. He will take control of all things.
ReplyDeleteRomans 8:11- And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
The power of raising Christ from dead is living in you! You're the victorious one becoz you have a living father. Don forget you are His beloved daughter that He will definitely give you strength! :)
Last night i was talking to God. I cried for help because i felt so angry of myself. I cant control my mind of thinking stuff which i m not supposed to think. i was longing for God to talk to me. I was shouting at God why he isn't talking to me at all! Just right after i finish talking to Him. This song came into my mind 'The everlasting God' so i went to listen to this song. The first lyrics strike me! ''strength arise as we wait upon the Lord'' I was listening carefully the whole song until the end, here comes this little girl's voice saying Isaiah 40;28-31. I flipped my bible and started to cry.. I was like ''oh my God oh my God'' I cant believe he talked to me! so clearly and so quick! I had a really nice sleep last night.. i knew that my future is in His hand which i wont need to worry. :) Hope it can encourage you!
Isaiah 40:28-31- Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Take care and God bless!
With love from your sister in hatfield,
hilary xxx :)
Hi, good article, and it is good, that you know the problem and i believe you can solve it.
ReplyDelete-Hilary-
ReplyDeletehey sista!surprise 2c u here :)
indeed,wen God is silent, it doesn't mean He's not there. wen we r suffering,it's a trial 4us 2test our faith2,so tt we could stand firm in Him.
Talk bout hardened heart..James 4:8
Come near to God and He will come near to you.
Thx Hilary 4d wonderful verses,i'm sure We r victorious as nothing is impossible in Him.I checked out the song "The Everlasting God" & it was awesome! soothing~ :)
Isa 40:28-31, i love it. Let's claim it! Emmanuel~ thx 4d encourgament sis.
God bless u Hilary :) *hugs*
-KB-
ReplyDeletethank u for dropping by Kamal :)
and ya, this time i'm able to face various problems now, & to still be rejoice when troubles come coz i know it'll build me a stronger character if i persevere on :)
yeap :) James 1:2-5
ReplyDeleteso now,, u can forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead :D -philipian 3:13
May the Lord continue to strengthen our faith and show us His way. Let His will be done in our life. We are no longer ouselves but it's Christ who lives in us. As we patiently waiting for you, Lord i pray that you wont let your ppl grow weary and tired but always remind us to be still and know that you are God. Lord, help us to persevere in you in all harship and Lord we will praise you for the joy that you give through all the harship! Uphold Lily and myself to your hand. Lord blessed our sisterhood. our servanthood and our relationship with you. Thank you Lord for your love and grace that sustain me till now. Thank you Lord for your mercy that you forgive me from my past. Thank you Lord in Jesus name. Amen!
Happy New year and happy valentine :D enjoy the grand festival with yur family and friends :D
Hilary xxxooo
wah.. ini blog sudah jadi inbox style liao.. haha...
ReplyDeleteLily!!! hahaha.. PTL for such experience.. God is gracious as He'll throw u into different situations so that u can kno him more and grow more mature in Him.. b equipped for more to come! lols
Hilary dear!! it's so nice to c u here.. the Lord is truly working at here n Hatfield too~ Isa40:28-31 was our pnw theme.. God encouraged the whole church in the service jus a few days ago. woohoo~~~b blessed babes!!
-Hilary-
ReplyDeletehi dear hilary, tq so so much 4da prayer & blessing! i'm glad 2hav u sis. and Amen toO! ^_^
-Peniel-
yuhoO Peniel~~ apa inbox style pula hee.. yee yup. PTL haha thx 4ur encouragemt & time as well all these while hehe ^_^
Hello Lily~! :-) Happy New Year!! This is Denise/Kiyomi, found your blog link through MyLine LOL Please add me to your list too haha!
ReplyDeleteI guess people will feel like that every once in a while, and I believe that Satan is really trying his best to spoil our relationship with God. That's why I am holding on to John 14:1's "Let not your heart be troubled".
I've been feeling like this some time ago too, but just like you did, in the end I chose the "former" instead of the latter :-)
http://denise-dinc.livejournal.com/137629.html
-Denise-
ReplyDeletehi gurl! it's so cool to hear from u here. yaya Myline, i long time din log in coz i've 4gotten my passwrd. I like to see the works of the people esp in the Creative Corner (writing part).
ya, the work of the Satan.can say it that way. that's why we need to guard our hearts so that we won't leave a foothold for the devil to influence us :)